Joke - F#*@ a duck

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Tazza

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I swiped this off another forum.
A duck walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, we haven't got any
f*#@ing bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?" Barman says: "No, are you deaf, we
haven't got any f*#@ing bread, ask me again and I'll nail your
f*#@ing beak to the bar you f*#@ing irritating bloody bird!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?
 

Tigerotor77W

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Joined
Apr 29, 2004
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268
Hahaha, nice! I don't know if I would have that type of attitude as a duck, though -- my neck would be pretttty vulnerable.

To hijack (add? :) ) to this thread, here's a briefing about Jack Bauer (from the TV series in the USA -- maybe it's elsewhere, also? -- 24)

"On 24, Jack Bauer averages 6 people killed per hour, times 24 hours, that's 144 individuals killed by Jack in a single day.

Figuring that under normal conditions, he gets a good night's sleep, that cuts his average total kills to only 96 per day. That's 35,086 people a year. I'm willing to deduct another 10,848 for weekends and holidays.

Still, it is reasonable to expect Jack Bauer to kill 24,238 people a year by even the most conservative estimates. In a normal 40-year career, he will have personally killed almost a million people before retirement.

If you figure a bullet cost 45 cents, and he shoots at least 3 bullets at everybody he kills, thats a total investment of $1,308,852 back into the economy over the course of his career on ammo alone..."

-- anonymous author
 

Tazza

Administrator
Staff member
Admin
Joined
Dec 7, 2004
Messages
16,697
Hahaha, nice! I don't know if I would have that type of attitude as a duck, though -- my neck would be pretttty vulnerable.

To hijack (add? :) ) to this thread, here's a briefing about Jack Bauer (from the TV series in the USA -- maybe it's elsewhere, also? -- 24)

"On 24, Jack Bauer averages 6 people killed per hour, times 24 hours, that's 144 individuals killed by Jack in a single day.

Figuring that under normal conditions, he gets a good night's sleep, that cuts his average total kills to only 96 per day. That's 35,086 people a year. I'm willing to deduct another 10,848 for weekends and holidays.

Still, it is reasonable to expect Jack Bauer to kill 24,238 people a year by even the most conservative estimates. In a normal 40-year career, he will have personally killed almost a million people before retirement.

If you figure a bullet cost 45 cents, and he shoots at least 3 bullets at everybody he kills, thats a total investment of $1,308,852 back into the economy over the course of his career on ammo alone..."

-- anonymous author
hehehe nice, an actors job is never done.
 
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