Machine shop fun

[OldMachinist]

I used to have this hanging on the wall in the shop and I found it while I was going thru a bunch of files I brought home when I retired, just thought you might get a chuckle out of it. Someone gave it to me many many years ago.

Recommendations to eliminate

Misteaks in the shop


1. When changing cutting tools on a machine, It is generally quicker to turn the machine off first
2. Large ultrasonic cleaning machines shall not be used for bathing. Showers although requiring soap and a little effort, are safer.
3. Much time can be save by not using left handed wrenches on right handed nuts.
4. In the future machining wire from bar stock must stop.
5. Attention must be paid to all drawings and prints. Note that they have two sides. Use the side which has the brighter image.
6. Charging batteries from the AC electrical line will not be permitted except when a battery charger is used.
7. The pointed end of a drill bit should face the work. Not only will this reduce the number of broken bits, but the work will go much faster.
8. When using cutting oil a cutting tool must also be used. The oil will not do the job alone.
9. The practice of using micrometers as c-clamps must stop, especially on welding fixtures where the splatter can mess up the numbers.
10. Work that has been heat-treated or welded should not be handled until after the red color is gone.
11. Be sure that all shipping address labels are on the outside of the box.
12. When using a welding helmets, Note that the dark glass window should face front not to the rear.
13. Dueling with forklift trucks will be discontinued immediately.
14. During the use of a cutting tool, if no chips are seen coming off the edge of the cutter, It is usually caused by one or more of the following reasons.
A. The cutter is dull
B. the cutter is upside down.
C. the cutter is not touching the work.
D. the machine is not turned on.

 

[TriHonu]

Funny how these "mistakes" still seem to happen on a regular basis.

I found this set of rules recently.

These rules we hold to be self evident!​

1. Only qualified personnel may operate equipment, machinery, and tools.

a. All qualified personnel must read and be familiar with operators manual.

i. Experience on "your daddy's farm" doesn't count here.

ii. "At my last: job, shop, employer" don't count here.

iii. "We always do it this way" don't count here.

iv. "I've watched (insert name) do it dozens of times" Don't count.

b. All qualified personnel must be familiar with, and qualified to perform preventative and corrective maintenance to the equipment they are operating.

i. Cleaning and stowing the machine after use is minimum maintenance,

ii. If you break it, take it out of service and tell someone; and yes you are going to have to help fix it.

c. Qualified personnel must be sufficiently skilled to properly set up equipment.

i. If you cannot figure out how to make the machine work… you probably should not be operating it.

2. Wear all appropriate PPE.

a. If you do not know what PPE you need ask!

i. If you don't know what PPE you need, you probably do not meet the requirement of #1 above. Stop now!

3. If completing "your job" requires you to damage a tool, STOP! You are doing it wrong.

a. No matter how simple a tool is, they all have a correct manner of use. That is the only way to use them.

b. If you don't have the correct tool. You cannot complete the job.

i. If there isn't enough time to do the job correct, remember to schedule some time for rework.

ii. If it will last "till you aren't around" it isn't correct. See #1 above. Because you aren't!

 

[Tazza]

Funny how these "mistakes" still seem to happen on a regular basis.
I found this set of rules recently.

These rules we hold to be self evident!

1. Only qualified personnel may operate equipment, machinery, and tools.

a. All qualified personnel must read and be familiar with operators manual.

i. Experience on "your daddy's farm" doesn't count here.

ii. "At my last: job, shop, employer" don't count here.

iii. "We always do it this way" don't count here.

iv. "I've watched (insert name) do it dozens of times" Don't count.

b. All qualified personnel must be familiar with, and qualified to perform preventative and corrective maintenance to the equipment they are operating.

i. Cleaning and stowing the machine after use is minimum maintenance,

ii. If you break it, take it out of service and tell someone; and yes you are going to have to help fix it.

c. Qualified personnel must be sufficiently skilled to properly set up equipment.

i. If you cannot figure out how to make the machine work… you probably should not be operating it.

2. Wear all appropriate PPE.

a. If you do not know what PPE you need ask!

i. If you don't know what PPE you need, you probably do not meet the requirement of #1 above. Stop now!

3. If completing "your job" requires you to damage a tool, STOP! You are doing it wrong.

a. No matter how simple a tool is, they all have a correct manner of use. That is the only way to use them.

b. If you don't have the correct tool. You cannot complete the job.

i. If there isn't enough time to do the job correct, remember to schedule some time for rework.

ii. If it will last "till you aren't around" it isn't correct. See #1 above. Because you aren't!

Sadly, this one is rather true.......
"10. Work that has been heat-treated or welded should not be handled until after the red color is gone."
I like 'em all

 

[coreya3212]

Sadly, this one is rather true.......
"10. Work that has been heat-treated or welded should not be handled until after the red color is gone."
I like 'em all

Ok, how about sharing a few shop pranks.

Take your buddies welding helmut, cover the dark glass with black electrical tape on the inside. Its funny as hell. When they nod there head to drop the helmut and strike an arc, then stop, pull off the helmut and rub the lense like they are cleaning the front....watched a guy "clean" his lense 3 times, dont know how long it would have lasted but a few of us in on it were laughing so loud it tipped him. Makes me laugh right now.

Ok,lets here em fellas!!

 

[Tazza]

Ok, how about sharing a few shop pranks.

Take your buddies welding helmut, cover the dark glass with black electrical tape on the inside. Its funny as hell. When they nod there head to drop the helmut and strike an arc, then stop, pull off the helmut and rub the lense like they are cleaning the front....watched a guy "clean" his lense 3 times, dont know how long it would have lasted but a few of us in on it were laughing so loud it tipped him. Makes me laugh right now.

Ok,lets here em fellas!!

hehehe i like that one. Glad i have an automatic helmet, so i'd know if it had tape stuck on it.

 

[coreya3212]

hehehe i like that one. Glad i have an automatic helmet, so i'd know if it had tape stuck on it.

I swear everyone reacts the same way. The pull the helmut off, pull there shirt sleeve over there wrist and rub the front of the helmut 3 or 4 times and try again. Kills me.

I know, I am a simple Albertan....

 

[Mr_C]

I swear everyone reacts the same way. The pull the helmut off, pull there shirt sleeve over there wrist and rub the front of the helmut 3 or 4 times and try again. Kills me.

I know, I am a simple Albertan....

I love these gags, other fun ones are... -Fill the air tools with oil before owner gets in in the morning, especially fun with air drills with a rear exhaust. -grease under the handle of the toolbox is always entertaining. - My personal favorite, if their toolbox has removable drawers, switch drawers 1 and 2, 3 and 4, etc. Then sit back and watch while they keep grabbing the wrong drawers. I did this to a friend my last day working with him. He called me a month later because he finally figured out why he ALWAYS grabbed the wrong drawer. Glad he has a sense of humor. -Mr_C